Love me, Connor, Love me a Nick Cave fanfiction
by The Shelf
Summary: A love story about Nick Cave


Love me, Connor, Love me (Dig Lazarus Dig)

A fanfiction written by Becky, Sophie and Izzie after reading a SHITLOAD of bad fanfiction (mainly My Immortal)

[A.N. STOp FLAMMING! IF YOU FMAE ME YOU ARE A SQUEARE!]

Chapyter 1

My namne is Connor Lundy. I am 20 years old and I have floppy brown hair. I woke up one day and put on my black skinny jeans and my rolling stones vest. I finished the outfist with my Jeffrey West cumban heels and my fave leather jacket that I stol off my best mate Lee Summers.

I am at uni at the mo, at Sussex. One day I went into town and was just walkoing aroung te lanes (IF ANY OF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LANES ARE, YOU ARE A SQUARE AND A PREP SO GTFO tTHIS STORY). SUDDENYL! I bumped into a tall man with a beautiful moustache. He knoecked me off my feet… literally! I looked up and he gave me a hand up.

"Wow! you have amazing shoes!" he said

"thank you, I love your music, NICK CAVE!" I said back

"OMG That's so cool! shall we hang out?" he said

"OK" I said

we went walking on the beach. we went walking on the pier. we to some shops. we bought mcdolands. we got the bus home. when we are at home Nick Cave turns to me and shouts: IVE HAD AM AMAZING DAY, CONNOR. YOU ARE THE BESTT

I knew he wanted to stay some more so I intvited him inside for some mash. It was lovely. Then we had sex. I wen to sleep.

Chapter 2

I woke up in the morning. I got up and had a shower and washed my hair with some treseme shampoo (for curly hair) and conditioner (for shiney hair). I went back into my room naked and Nick cave woke up and said to me "CONNOR? Is that a tophat?" SUDDENLY! Chloe jumoed out my closet (AN. NOT IN A LESBIAN WAY YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK, STOP FLAMMING!). "WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOTHERUFCKERS?" she said. I was FLABBERGHASTED… What should I say? STHEN I got dressed. I wore my black skinny jeans and my rolling stones vest and my Jeffrey west Cuban heels and my leather jacket. Nick Cave looked at me. He had lovev in his eyes. He sarted singing to me "Larry made his nest up in the autumn branches  
Built from nothing but high hopes and thin air  
He collected up some baby blasted mothers who took their chances  
And for a while they lived quite happily up there  
He came from New York city man, but he couldn't take the pace  
He thought it was like dog eat dog world  
Then he went to San Francisco, spent a year in out space  
With a sweet little San Fransiscan girl.  
I can hear my mother wailing and a whole lot of scraping of chairs  
I don't know what it is but there's definately something going on upstairs" (AN: I DON'T OWN THESE LYRICS SO STFU ABOUT COPYIGHT AND STOP FLAMMING ME!)

It was beautiful! I started crying with emotherion. "Thank you nIck, it is so lovely" Connor said. We kissed and cuddled for a bit. then I went back into a sleep.

CHApter 3

AUTHORS NOTE\: CHLOE IS NOT GAY SHE WA SIN DA CLOSET BECAUSE R JELLYL TOLD HER TOO.

I looked into nick's eyes and dey were like limpid pools of water that were flooded with emotion. emotipon that made my heart burn with feelings. unfortunsately nick had to go because he had to go to the office. he puit on a shirt and a blazer with red bits and some pants. his shows were cblack like mine.

he had to write a screenplay and I was hungry. I put on my red and white Christmas jumper with some black skinny jeans. I used hairspray anfd put on my Cuban heels. it was time to let chloe out of the closet. 48 hours was a long time, but time with nick passed fo quickly.

'WHAT AR EYOU DOING POSER?' she said calmly, flipping her blonde hair sassily.

'you don't know my feelings yiu are niot my mother' I said tyra banksily.

'BUT WHAT ABOUT DAVVID' shee hoovered loudly.

'THAT WAS THE PASYT AND THE PAST IS IN THE PAST' I gesticulated wildly

'IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES' chloe marooned

UNTIL IT'S NOT!'

END OF CHAPTER 3

chapter 4

The next morning I felt a bit preganant. I put on my all saints shirt and made sure my nipples were showing because I was an indepodent woman and not afraid to show the world.

'HELLO' said david bowie

'HOW DID YOU GET IN?' I said.

'CHLOE TEXTED ME' he said

'WHY?' I said'

'SHE TOLD ME YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MNAN' he said.

'DAMMIT CHL;OE' I said

'WHO WANTS CAKE?' izzie said.

then sophie smoked drugs.

'IT'S 20AM' everyone said except chloe because she wa sin the closet (BUT NOT LIKE HOMO CUS DASS GHEY)

END OF CHAPTER 4

chapter 5

IT WAS COLD THAT DAY AND THA WIND WEAS CREUL. connor drove angsrtily to the hosipital with davvid and chloe and izzie ancd sophie and drugs.

nick promised he would meet them there he had seemed weird obnt the phone. I could hear his mustache talking angrily.

SUDDENLY AS TRUCK WAS THERE IN THE RROAD.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' SCREAMED EVERYBODY )except the drugs because they wrere gone)

'SAVE THE BABY' saided davoif who threw connor from the car with his vampire strength

I landed on a soft pile of hay in a bran with some cows. izzie came by and said 'DAVUD IS DEED.'

end on chapter 5

chapter 6

The baby was gay. The end.


End file.
